My husband and I adopted a child recently. It’s been such a joy for us and lot of learnings after a wonderful 16 years of married life. My life is definitely changing for the better. During the initial few weeks after we got our son, I was so preoccupied with thoughts about the next steps as a new mother – bonding, preschool, doctor visits, buying stuff etc… and without realizing, I was missing many of the amazing moments with my son.
One day, I was reading a story in social media about a Dog and a Man. Although, I do not remember the story completely, I still remember the essence.
Unlike most humans, dogs live in the moment and enjoy every bit of it. They do not regret the past or worry about the future.
That really stuck me and i realized that I will not be able to get those missed precious moments with my son back. As responsibility knocks on the door, many of us tend to become preoccupied and miss many amazing moments in our lives. In reality, we don’t get to relive a day like Bill Murray in “Groundhog Day“.
Since that realization, I am trying to be more mindful of my preoccupied thoughts. It is NOT easy as it sounds. I practice “mindful writing” everyday. As soon as I recognize and acknowledge a preoccupation, I immediately capture those in a notepad or on my phone. That way I don’t lose my thoughts and will be able to get to that later. At the end of the day, I transfer those to my journal. This practice helps me a lot with living in the moment. I am realizing that I am able to spend more quality time with my son, creating more precious moments and be part of it as well.
Recognizing a preoccupied thought is the first step. Even, if you don’t recognize immediately and you realize later, jot down whatever you remember and give yourself a pat in the back. That is a great step. Remember, this takes practice.
I would love to hear other thoughts on handling preoccupation.
“The present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is a door to all moments.” Thich Nhat Hanh